Setting Realistic Expectations

Let’s face it, we are our own worst enemy when it comes to realistic expectations. No matter what we do everyone sets a standard for themselves that only some can grasp. Cambridge University defines realistic expectations as accepting things as they are and believing good things are going to happen. Setting realistic expectations can be beneficial. Expectations can become reality when they are realistic, and you can take the proper steps towards achieving them.

Ways to Set Realistic Expectations

When creating realistic expectations make sure they provide clarity, direction, and accountability.
Sometimes even creating long-term goals and focusing on them can help. Setting and working towards clear, attainable goals can bridge the gap between expectation and reality. Sometimes it can be hard to navigate our self-created expectations, but there are things you can do to ensure that you are successful. According to Psych Central, these include:

1. Determining expectations early on – when you determine self-expectations early on you set the pace and creative endeavors while encouraging accountability.
2. Learning to let go – when you do not meet your expectations can lead to negative feelings. Let it go to help you refocus and meet your goals. It does not mean to ignore your emotions, instead, you should be acknowledging your feelings as you overcome any obstacle.
3. Practice positive self-talk – you must consider how you talk to yourself. Try shifting your mindset and rephrasing the detrimental thought process. You can even start keeping a journal when that negative self-talk creeps in. You can use this journal to write your goals, track your progress, and write positive affirmations. Focus on what you have accomplished. Feeling frustrated with yourself can lead to unrealistic expectations. When this happens you can think back on what you have accomplished to help keep things in perspective.
4. Appreciate what you already have – focus on appreciating what you already have. Focusing only on what you want can make you forget the good things in your life, disrupting your well-being. If you do not stop to embrace what you have, it can leave little time for hobbies, friends and loved ones, and small joys in life.
5. Build confidence – having self-confidence can help you overcome challenges positively. It also helps you set realistic expectations as you recognize what you deserve and are capable of. You are more likely to ask for what you want when you feel confident. It can also help you pursue your passions, helping you fulfill the expectations you have for life.

Coping with Other’s Expectations

Unfortunately, you are not the only one who has set expectations for you. Other people in your life might push unrealistic expectations on you. This can disrupt your peace and well-being. According to Psych Central, all your relationships come with expectations, though some can be subconscious.

You do not have to feel pressure and accept these expectations, as finding ways to cope with  them can improve your situation. When you do not meet those perceived expectations from peers it can increase anxiety. Understand where these unrealistic expectations are coming from, but you can learn ways to cope with them.

Consider if the expectations are healthy, they can promote relationship growth. You can also keep trying to meet their expectations, but no one is perfect. If you determine that expectations are healthy then you can decide if you want those same things. According to Clam, there are some other ways of coping with other expectations that involve practicing mindfulness, cultivating adaptability, seeking support or counseling, and learning from disappointments.

Conclusion

You and people around you have set expectations, even if subconsciously, for you. It is up to you to decide which expectations are healthy and realistic. It can be very beneficial if you set realistic expectations. You can create ways to achieve these expectations. And we all know that when we accomplish something, especially if it is one of our expectations, then our confidence is boosted and we have a new sense of gratitude.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact Danielle Herndon, Population Health and Wellness national practice leader at dherndon@hilbgroup.com.